le sigh

this has been a good week. i've got a crush for the first time in a while, and it's pretty cool. we've seen each other every day this week, culminating in me getting probably two hours of sleep last night. it was a good hardly any sleep. yeah i could definitely do that again. and wouldn't you know it? i'm not the only person in the world who has absolutely zero interest in reading harry potter, listening to country music, or dancing. of course, if i've been drinking, i'll totally want to dance... and look like an idiot while doing it. but i guess that goes without saying.

going to the cheeky monk tonight with joe to drink some belgian beer. i am very much looking forward to it.

why am i craving ramen? i don't know, but i'm gonna chow down.

current music: queen - "i want to break free"

screwed

i got screwed out of an interview for today. not even a job, but an interview. and not even an in person interview, but a phone interview. this guy writes me an email thursday afternoon, asking if i have time for a phone interview either friday or monday. i wanted time to prepare, so i told him let's plan on monday. i never hear back from him. so this morning i write him another email, making sure he got my first message, and asking if the interview is still on for 1pm. well it isn't. i immediately got back an email from this fucking guy saying they had already set their in person interview candidates.

didn't even give me an opportunity. so much bullshit. so unfair. i'm mad. if you've given me the opportunity to have the interview on monday, then fucking honor it. i'm gonna write him an email back letting him know how screwed i feel.

current music: the mars volta - "roulette dares (the haunt of)"

okay i'm going to play the "i'm so excited i got ahead of myself" card regarding my last post. inauguration day was today, not yesterday. uh, my bad. which makes complete sense, since i could find no coverage on it yesterday.

i liked the part in obama's inaugural speech where he said he would lend an open hand to anyone willing to unclench their first. i thought that was a good line.

today's been incredibly lazy. i watched daytime television for what seems like all day. it just might have been all day. so i'm gonna make up for it and either head up to boulder for the night, try to rendezvous with josh, or hit up stella's for some reading. i started reading thomas mann's doctor faustus again; such a difficult, but awesome, book.

...

just got off the phone with josh. a nice conversation, of course. don't think i've ever had a bad conversation with him. and at a mere 18 minutes, a very healthy length i might add when talking to him. i've had five hour conversations with him before, two hour conversations on the phone. we actually probably would have talked longer, but instead i'm going to head up to boulder. i'll bring my book, my journal, and my tunes. i hope to receive three good doses of all three by the end of the night.

current music: sigur ros - "svefn-g-englar"

inauguration day

today's the day! after eight horrible years, bush is finally out of office. i remember talking to tons of germans in 2003/2004 while studying abroad about how terrible he is as a president; i've been waiting for this day for quite a while, and the rest of the world has as well. i'm not being ignorant, and i'm not being anti-american. i love this country, absolutely, but life does not start and stop with the u.s.a. the sooner we realize that, the better. i recommend everyone to travel abroad, listen to what people say about politics, economics, efficiency, and acceptance. our egos are our own worst enemy.

i believe we can change. i have hope for the future. i do not know what the future will bring, but i believe it will be bright and beautiful. in obama i trust, and you should too.

current music: sigur ros - "hoppipolla"

i feel good today. real good. i woke up feeling great. had a ridiculous amount of dreams last night; melissa mitchell was in my dream, as was my band. we kept trying to play, but it was an open mic or something, and we could never get all of us on stage at the same time. and melissa was married with three kids. that's just weird; i haven't thought of her in ages. she was cute, really cute. i also more awkward pauses with her than anyone else i've ever encountered. i think travis could back me on that one.

but i feel fantastic. i got a couple new drumheads yesterday at rupp's - a 10" emperor coated head for my hi-tom, and a 14" ambassador coated head for my snare. the tom sounds fantastic; the snare head's going to have to stretch out a bit before the sound is really good quality. but my first jam with the new heads was a good one. hopefully it's a taste of things to come.

and tomorrow i begin my first babysitting job in probably ten years or more. only this time, i'm being paid to take care of my irish neighbor's kids for five days. wake them up, put them to bed, help them with homework, make dinner, and of course, hang out, play, and watch movies with them every other second. i'm actually very excited. we're gonna watch ace ventura. it's a movie every kid has to see, because it's completely ridiculous, and therefore totally awesome.

i just beat minesweeper on expert in 72 seconds.. not my record, but awesome nonetheless.

tried the oatmeal stout for the first time with hiner last night. the first one exploded in my hands, which means it wasn't cold enough. the second one was cold enough, and it was absolutely fuckin delicious. so now we need a name for it. suggestions? i was thinking perhaps percussive, or perhaps political. obama's inaugural oatmeal stout? it's a tough decision, for sure.

current music: the mountain goats - "oceanographer's choice"

...and life goes on

a good friend of mine from elementary school and middle school, a kid i played soccer with for multiple years, and unfortunately, a person i hadn't seen in quite a while, jordan berg, died saturday of a drug overdose. he was such a cool guy, really smart and really nice. i remember spending the night at his house and playing with legos; one time we made this awesome double decker raft (out of legos).

when i heard he had passed, i couldn't really believe it, and didn't know how to respond. i felt like i needed to tell someone, so i called charlie. as i told him, i could feel my emotions rushing to the forefront. luckily i was able to finish the conversation and hang up, but as soon as i got off, i lost it. i parked outside big bill's pizza, where i was dropping off a couple bombers of homemade porter for hiner and his coworkers to enjoy, and i just cried for about ten minutes. i only saw jordan once since going to college, but immediately i remembered all the reasons why i hung out with him back in the day, and it made me so sad that i never got in contact with him after high school. you don't think about saying goodbye to friends when you're young, because i guess you just assume you'll be seeing them again eventually. i don't know, maybe meet up for a beer or some pool, talk about old times, about how you used to hate playing the palmer divide falcons in soccer, about how their parents used to stay in their cars when it was cold, and honk when a goal was scored. i really wish i could tell him that he was a badass defender, that i used to look forward to hanging out with him and travis grothe on the weekends, play some street hockey, drink hawaiian punch. jordan, i never told travis you tried smoking in middle school.

i'm sorry i miss you now and not a week ago. if i had, maybe we would've hung out saturday night, and you wouldn't have taken that hit. maybe you'd be drinking a homebrew with me instead.

and as i returned home this afternoon, i stepped out of my car and realized that nothing else had changed. there's still crazy ridiculous colorado weather, junk mail in the mailbox, neighbors home from college, an ipa fermenting in the basement, and trash in my car. with one exception, that extra piece of trash, a napkin from the glove compartment, used to dry my eyes after getting off the phone with charlie. i wish you had been alive for this day - it was a good one.

i can't stop crying. this is ridiculous.

rest in peace, jordan. i'll miss you.

current music: ugly casanova - "smoke like ribbons"