an even better, more perplexing question is how the hell have i survived for twenty-five years without one? the answer: delicately.
i have no idea what the actual name of it is, but in vietnam, people use a water hose instead of toilet paper. well they use toilet paper, too, but it's to dry only. okay, sounds a bit over the top, and flat out weird, right? not true; it's actually ingenious, and households around the world should adopt it as a necessary practice for overall comfort and effectiveness. no more smear. no more clogging due to excessive paper use. you feel great after taking a grove, which is the way you should feel anyway.
it won't work in america, though. half the population's too fat to hit their ass hole with a hose anyway. ha.
going out to a birthday party right now.
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if i remember anything from crocodile dundee, it is called a 'bidet'. and if the dundee was wary of it, then so am i.
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